Horimiya Vol. 1

How do I explain Horimiya? How do I explain why I read it in the first place?

Um.......

I blame Netflix. Damn them and their Glitter Force. It looks ridiculous, and Netflix was like "you'd hate this- one star recommendation." And I tried it anyway. And it happens to be really lame and kind of funny at the same time? My favorite character is Bafoon, the bad guy they have to fight EVERY EPISODE. And he turns into weird stuff like a chair or dandelion... it's stupid and awesome.

BUFFOOOOOOON!

Overall, my exposure to anime has been minimal, and usually considered a guilty pleasure. Same goes for manga. I've read a few books of a few series. I can't usually take the stories seriously, but I do enjoy the artwork. At least for the ones I've read in the past, they are very detailed and handled differently than traditional western comic books. 

That's pretty damn good, right??

I bought Horimiya thinking it would be nice to get back into that genre a bit... and what I got? Well, not quite the same...

Granted, it's a different genre. This is more "slice of life" than epic fantasy. So I'll give it some credit that it wasn't trying to be beautiful. But frankly it's more boring than anything...artistically, anyway.

Story wise? 

I think this one has the most "lost in translation" that I've encountered so far. I figured it'd be pretty straight forward. In short, it's about two students whose lives in school are fairly different from their lives at home. The girl is super popular, but she's a home body who takes care of her little brother and cleans the house a lot. (Gasp!?) And Miyamura (who's name I only know because its visible above) is this nerdy quiet kid, who dresses like a punk when he's not in class. (Scandalous?!) The two end up friends outside of school... and that's about it... Seriously. And I don't consider it a spoiler alert because that's the damn summary from Goodreads and/or the cover! 

I figured something interesting would happen. Maybe Miyamura is in a punk rock band and just waiting to get a touring gig so he can get the heck out of dodge. Or maybe the girl has some skeletons in her closet that keep her from going out.

Nope. Nothing like that. Spoilers I guess if you keep reading...

Miyamura has a bunch of piercings and tattoos because he's bored and/or he likes them! And he doesn't want his classmates to know... just because. And there is a whole section of the manga dedicated to a story where they go on a school trip and he has to avoid anyone seeing his tattoos when he showers. WHO GIVES A SHIT?! And who gets a tattoo if you don't want anyone to see it?! How lame. If he was as badass as he is supposed to be, then he wouldn't care if anyone saw it. BECAUSE THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. Ugh.

And the girl, well she takes care of her brother and the house because her parents work all the time. Her mom shows up one day and takes care of everything, but the girl can't let it go that she cooks better and her mom only makes insta-noodles or whatever. I get what they were trying to say - that her parents are just never around and don't even know how to do that kind of thing. But it just made her seem petty and controlling. She doesn't seem to resent having to take care of everything. And it doesn't really seem a big deal or contrary to how popular she is, (oh, except she doesn't wear make up at home! WOW.)

So that's disappointing. 

Half the book is them hanging out, and the other half is them freaking out about hanging out. What are they? Dating? Friends? ...Maybe it's a big deal in Japan, if two people of opposite sex are friends. But here, good gravy. The drama isn't whether you want to be friends, silly. Which yes, let me restate that -- they mostly are trying to figure out if they are friends!!! WTF. Yes, you are friends, dummies.

For example:

School trip. Miyamura's tattoos are impacting his ability to shower in the shared bathroom with his peers. The lady gets a private bathroom for her and her roommate. The lady then agrees to let Miyamura use his shower. Then everyone gets their panties in a bunch about whether this means that she would let anyone use her shower. Good grief. No, stupid. You're her friend. We're at the end of the first book, you're freakin' friends already. People do nice things for their friends, stop freaking out about it! UGGGGH.

Boring. So. So. So. Boring.

Two stars. 

Drizzle Fo Shizzle (The Legend of Drizzt - Homeland)

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I enjoy table top gaming. Particularly, I have played Dungeons & Dragons, off and on, for the last few years with a small group of guys (and sometimes other gals) in a town about an hour away. Prior to that, my exposure was limited to the one time I tried to play a Star Wars version for an afternoon with my brother and his drooling friends... Actually I don't think they cared I was there at all, but young ego-ed high-school-er me did not notice... My bad. And my understanding is that their game took off pretty well and they continued to play for years.

So, I don't know what made me decide to suggest starting a D&D campaign. It's not really my comfort level, or that of anyone else in our group, but we all gave it a try and seemed to enjoy it. Some of us play very story-like, and detailed with characterization, backstory, and dialogue. Others like to do math quickly after rolling a handful of die onto the table. To each their own.

A fairly accurate representation.

My husband is often our DM (Dungeon Master) and had started reading The Legend of Drizzt books. And honestly there were like six months where that was all he did. He read those books like others drink water. I'd always be like "what ya doing?" and his replies would progress from...

"Reading Drizzt." 

...

"Drizzt."

...

"Drizzle."

...

*Rain emoji*

So after enough of this, I figured there has to be something to it. 

I admit I hesitated to pick this one up. It just seemed so cheesy. Like, I enjoy World of Warcraft, but I don't read the books. Same for Mass Effect. I tried a Doctor Who book and it was cheesy as all gets out. Like a big old block of cheddar. Did I really want to do the same for this fandom?

Well, fast forward a year or so, and I found myself in a library. I looked all over for stuff to read, but I absolutely judge books by their cover. So at a loss for what to check out, I browsed old favorites to see what was in store. I think I ended up in Salvatore's area because he had written a few Star Wars books. And what I found instead was Drizzt.

(Frankly, had I done my homework, I wouldn't have waited so long to pick up this series. I just looked it up and he wrote Attack of the Clones' novel. Now hear me out. If you hate young Anakin, and the prequels, then you have not read this book. It changes everything. So much more nuanced than allowed for on film, and it makes much more sense.)

What I enjoyed about Drizzt, is the same thing I enjoy the most about Dungeons & Dragons overall. It's got great characters and the world building is just about unparalleled. That really comes through in Salvatore's presentation. It's such a unique world, Menzoberranzan, with interesting perspectives on personal bonds and trials, and overall political power struggles.

In case you need a few more details to whet your appetite, the main character, Drizzt Do'Urden is a dark elf that lives in this underground civilization, where everything is pitch black and they can see everything from heat patterns. Drizzt's family is all caught-up in this political hierarchy that worships some spider god lady thing, and Drizzt is raised as a fighter who is crazy talented with his iconic scimitars. It's very mafia like in structure, but surprisingly everything holds a matriarchal structure. Matron Malice, for instance, is Drizzt's mother. Um, how cool of a name is that? If I joined a roller derby league, dibs on that for my alter-ego!

Wheeee!

Most of the story is about Drizzt's role in all the politics (familial and otherwise), and growing up in Menzoberranzan. It sounds like it should be boring, but Salvatore keeps it moving with well paced action, and interesting character and relational development. So it's got a little bit of something for everyone.

...But I won't say I loved it. It wasn't really cheesy, but it was still just off. I didn't realize it was written in the 80s, so it's pretty cool to have such powerful women in a fantasy story, even back then. But, I wasn't thrilled that they are pretty much all bitches. That kind of sucked. Like, really? Dudes are in charge all the time! Someone finally gives the ladies the power, and "naturally" it's an awful, conniving mess. Gee, thanks.

The story also wasn't entirely compelling. My understanding is that this and a few other books work as prequels, and weren't written first in the incredibly long series. So, it does kind of read like it's written to be backstory. Maybe it would help to read the others first? I'm not really sure, but I figure since I started here, I'll continue through in order, all the same. And I will say, the cover made me mad. It explained everything right there! I know fantasy can get a bad rep because of their covers, but this was a total graphic design fail. I don't want to explain exactly, but if you read half-way through this book you can kind of infer what is going to happen pretty easily. I don't have a problem with that, but if that's your main source of suspense or intrigue, then I'm not really to keen on having that taken away in such a careless manner. 

Overall, unlike my husband, it's not my kind of literary water, but I'm sure I'll be back for another sip. 3/5 stars.

Pride & Prejudice

I admit it. I am a Jane Austen fangirl. I'm not in any club, I don't know how to play whist, or the differences between all the types of carriages... but still. I consider myself a tried-and-true Austen fan. I started reading her work in high school, I think. And even if it was a bit dense for my attention-span at the time, I still loved the stories all the same.

It doesn't hurt that they are transformed into the most brilliant movies...

Toni Collette is just so sweet in Emma!

And let's not forget the new classic...

I'm sorry Colin Firth, but I just can't even give the BBC's Pride and Prejudice a try... there is just NO WAY it's as good as this one is... NO WAY. I mean, just look at it! It is gorgeous!

But anyway, the book...

The book is so insanely delightful. Jane Austen just writes with such wit. She's so talented I want to stop here mid-sentence and just give up this task of writing because there is no way it will be good enough. Austen makes me laugh out loud. There is such sarcasm too it, but it doesn't read like satire. There are so many characters, but it still feels so personal. Elizabeth Bennet could be your best friend, you just read it and end up knowing her so well, and cheering her on.

...

"I dare say you will find him very agreeable."

"Heaven forbid!--That would be the greatest misfortune of all!--To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate!--Do not wish me such an evil."

...

I feel like I don't really need to summarize the story for you. Frankly the quote above is a pretty good set-up for the entirety of it. Let me just say that if her prejudice had remained, the ending would be very evil, indeed... (By the way, if you've seen You've Got Mail, then you've pretty much seen Pride & Prejudice. I'm fairly certain it was adapted or inspired by the plot.)

If you are at all curious about giving Austen a try, this is definitely where to start. It's just so well done. I wish I had the words to sufficiently describe it, but I just don't know what to say. I love the characters, and the history of it, it's all so easy to imagine. There are moments of drama, and intrigue, and humor and satire (oh, I know, I just said it doesn't come across as satire...perhaps, literary caricatures, would be more accurate). It's just charming, all put together. It makes me want to time-travel, or visit some theme-park like in the movie Austenland.

How fun would that be?!

I just find Pride & Prejudice to be so inspiring too. It's so smartly done, and their discussions are fascinating. The idea of the "accomplished" woman, and what that looks like... it's hard to imagine in this day and age. But I have decided to take Darcy's qualifications as a bit of a challenge. Maybe I'll start a new (seperate) blog for the new year about it. I'll think about it, and get back to you...

Maybe that's it. It's all Elizabeth. She's just a fantastic character in literature, so well-rounded and strong, even if she isn't accomplished. Stubborn, outspoken, smart, sharp, and witty. She's a beloved daughter, and compassionate sister, and dear friend. Who wouldn't want to be more like her? Oh, Jane Austen, please teach me how!

Oh snap.

So, back to the movie! (Sorry, I can't resist!)...The movie itself is the perfect representation. I made my husband watch it with me when I finally finished the book (be warned, I love the story but it still took me months of intermittent reading). I must say, he laughed as much, if not harder than I did. A man liking Jane Austen?! I never would have guessed, but I'm so happy to be wrong!

And speaking of men, this time reading through Pride & Prejudice, I have to say Mr. Collins cracked my shit up. He is the most pompous ass in literature I may have ever read. Mr. Darcy, proud? Nay. He doesn't hold a candle to Mr. Collins. I think old-me glossed over his parts of the story originally, but this time he had me in stitches (that would be laughing AT him, not with him). If I haven't convinced you to read it yet, then do yourself a favor and at least read it for him.

Mr. Collins, obviously on the left...

Enjoy!

Wild

Sometimes we have no idea what we are capable of...

I read this book at the right time. As I've mentioned before 2015 has been a banner year...for crap. My Grandfather passed away in April or May. It was all kind of a blur. But I do know that two weeks before my mom's best friend's mom, who I had grown up affectionately calling my Grandma Bobbie, had died as well. Fairly suddenly. Almost tragically. We were on the road at the time, for work, and just could not get away for her visitation or celebration of life. I spent the week in Savannah, Georgia curled up in a ball, alternating sobbing with staring out at the large cargo ships on the Savannah River outside my hotel. I hadn't seen her in years, but it hurt like a knife. Her own daughter seemed more composed and would call to sort of talk me off a cliff. I think I was mostly numb when my Grandfather then passed, quite painfully, when we got home.

So, as I said, I read this at about the right time...

I suppose I could have read it earlier in the year. But I couldn't handle it then, I don't think. I instead decided to vigorously start gardening, spending the entire afternoon after my Grandfather's funeral fixing our incredibly small backyard into an even tinier garden plot. I read up on herbology (herbalism, I guess, is the more appropriate term. I blame my time playing World of Warcraft). I wanted to get back to the earth, somehow. My friends, understanding my distress, took me to a cabin for a weekend, and it still amazes me how much it helped. And as a bookend to the year, we went camping again, this time in tents, over a cold, rainy, Halloween weekend.

It was a mess. It was raining and cold when we arrived, already dark outside. And like the unprepared noobs we were, we forgot to make sure our old tent had it's rain fly... it did not. And one of the hooks for the tent rods was broken, and I had to fashion a solution with a spare key ring to even be able to build and stake the tent down. I had only gone camping a few times with my family in my childhood, remembering only vaguely how to set up camp, or build a fire. We had an extra tarp that was about three-sizes too big to keep the rain out the rest of the weekend. The sun didn't come out until the last day as we started to pack up. It wasn't the trip I had imagined; we weren't even an hour from our home. But it was still the trip I needed, all the same.

In short, I had my deepest sympathies for Cheryl Strayed, when I started reading her book that weekend. She was unprepared, so was I. She was finding solace in the elements, and whether I wanted to admit my grief or not, so was I...

When you are out in the wilderness, of any kind or intensity, you have to prioritize. You have to decide what is worth your energy and focus, and in some cases, the small dry space you share with your sleeping bags. You can't quit. I mean, you can. But you won't. You see what you are made of, what you can do when you don't have any other reasonable options.

I could see why a lot of people would NOT like this book. A young woman, whose mother dies, leaving her in shambles, soon divorced, and an addict of both sex and drugs. Reckless. Naive. I could see why that would be frustrating to read. This main character isn't an hero... but I think, she's still worth cheering for. She is the perpetual underdog. A complete mess. But endearing, I think, for it. Perhaps I give her too much credit, charmed the same as the people along the Pacific Crest Trail, whose charity helps her through. But they too are such charming characters that give life to the wilderness of the PCT. I wanted to be out on the trail with her, although I'm certain I would do worse than she did herself. After all, even my roughest camping adventures still require some semblance of a bathroom.

I also admire her perseverance. As a notorious quitter, I probably wouldn't have made it a week on the trail that she traveled for a summer. I may be the age now that she was then, but there is a distinct gap in maturity, or more accurately, will.

And her mourning for her mother? Well, that was especially hard. I'm incredibly close to my mother, and I don't want to imagine what that was like for Strayed. But she makes it so clear what she experienced. But there was still hope and toward the end, clarity. Some semblance of peace. I admit, I almost cried when I saw her mother's name finally. Bobbi. So close to the name of one of the loved ones who left us all this year. A kindred spirit in many ways, too many to name here. And although I haven't hiked a thousand miles, or even a dozen, I'm beginning to hope for the same kind of peace that Strayed finds, and hopefully in time for the bittersweet holiday season.

I read it at the right time, I think.

(Five out of five stars).

Harley Quinn Vol. 1 (New 52)

Disclaimer: I know very little about the DC Universe, New 52, and Harley Quinn. At most I know the more iconic parts of Batman's story, particularly illustrated through film. So my review isn't a comparison against previous variations of Harley Quinn, but rather how this comic holds up without any prior exposure...

I really really wanted to like Harley Quinn. There are only so many female characters I know about in the DC universe, like Batgirl or Catwoman or Wonder Woman. I've read some Wonder Woman stuff, and it was good, but the New 52 is way too heavy on her mythos so I couldn't keep up with it. And after all, Harley Quinn is unhinged which is often how I feel lately, so perhaps she'd give misery some good rowdy company! (I've opted for counseling over a Joker-obsession and knack for mayhem). I'd get to live vicariously through her, witness her destruction and twisted sense of justice! Plus, look at the cover! She's clearly badass, and involved with roller derby -- a hobby I would have picked up myself if I had a shred of athletic ability or comfort wearing short shorts in public... so this can't be all that bad...

But, then again, it wasn't great.

The story is alright, with Harley inheriting an old building in New Jersey somewhere. Jersey Shore? I don't know. She gets herself into all kinds of trouble, and is oft-visited by her pal (perhaps lover?) Poison Ivy... and she does in fact join a roller derby league for a bit. But none of that mattered to me, really. I couldn't get into it completely. It was mildly amusing at parts, particularly in the beginning, but charm was quickly replaced by annoyance.

Well that's new... at least Ivy treats her better than "Mistah J"

I found the art style chaotic and frankly overwhelming after a while. I struggled to focus on each panel, and the movement was hurried and frantic. Maybe that's normal for Harley? I don't know, but it made it hard to read and the last few issues included in this volume required a real test of will. It's a shame too, because it started with such promise. If you are vaguely interested in this story line, then at most I would recommend just picking up a copy of the 1st issue as a standalone. You get enough of Harley's personality and humor, and a flavor of the writers who in a way make a cameo appearance as they work their way through selecting the appropriate artist to depict this New 52 rendition. Each page features the illustrative works of a different artist, and to me that was easily the best part of the whole thing. And frankly it set the bar too high to maintain by the artists they selected in the end. My vote would have gone somewhere else, but then they didn't ask me.

And I knew the famed-femme-fatale associate of the Joker had a lust for chaos and gore. If that's your bag, then this will not disappoint. I really didn't mind it, but it got old. I get it now, don't piss her off or you'll lose your head to the big hammer. But then again, that may be a better option than hearing her recite, "Holeee knife-in-the-neckeeee!" or the like, every other page... yikes.

As an aside, I'm a fan of linguistics/languages and that includes Yiddish. So while her exclamations grew old, fast, there is an old man that shows up that speaks Yiddish quite frequently. That part was particularly awesome to me... but again, the story itself was nothing to write home about. It was better than some of the others though, that is for sure.

I can respect her love of animals, and appreciate their role in the stories too.

I give it three stars. It was fun while it lasted, but then again, it lasted a bit too long for my taste. Now if they made a reboot where she just rescued dogs all day, then we'll give this another go... Until then, "Holeeeee guacamoleeee!" I'm out.

(Okay I say that, but let's be real, the stuff I've seen of Suicide Squad looks pretty epic. Again, I admit I know nothing, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was intrigued, and that Harley didn't have something to do with it... maybe I'll give her a second chance after all...)

Holeey upgrade-erole! She looks epic now. I'm diggin' her new aesthetic that's for sure!

Casino Royale

Best cover ever!

The latest James Bond movie came out, Spectre, and I admit I didn't think anything of it. I actually forgot it was released, because I just haven't been paying attention. But a friend suggested a group of us go see it this last weekend. I'm so glad they did too, because I absolutely loved it. In fact, I was the only one who went who was so completely enthusiastic about the experience. I left the theatre absolutely satisfied. It was the most-Bond-like Bond movie I've seen yet. It isn't my favorite, but I still enjoyed that movie immensely and kept thinking during the movie, "yes, this is it." Everything you could want in an action spy movie is in Spectre... and yes, as my husband would remind me, that includes a ridiculous story, unbelievable action, and plot holes the size of a small crater... but it's Bond, what do you expect?

I'm already enamored with spy stories as it is, particularly in the action variety like James Bond. I don't care much for the overly dramatic, dialogue based, espionage stuff. It can be technically very good, but it's not my cup of tea. I expect something to blow up.

And actually, I'm such a fan of James Bond and Archer, and the like, that I've tried a couple times to start writing my own spy novel. I'm not nearly as knowledgeable as Ian Fleming, who if I remember correctly actually was a spy. I'm more of the Spy movie-watcher variety (which I also saw recently and adored. Melissa McCarthy was fantastic, and way cooler than I would be if I was in her shoes).

Seriously. What isn't to love? Just look at 'em! McCarthy and Statham. Perfect!

Oddly though, I've never actually read many spy novels. I'm much more familiar with the genre in film or television instead. So after falling in love with Spectre I decided to throw a couple bucks at the first James Bond novel, Casino Royale (and then I went and got a library card again, realizing I have a serious problem buying too many books, and if I love this series, that's going to add up to some serious cash, whereas a library will let me read them for free. Yay!).

It should be known that Casino Royale is my favorite Bond movie. (And let's be honest, that can only mean the 2006 Daniel Craig version, really.) So the bar was set pretty high, and I tried to keep my expectations fairly low for this book. I mean, it's decades old, extremely dated, and that probably includes some serious misogyny, right?

Oh, geez. I was so right. I mean at one point he's talking about Vesper Lynd's cold personality (and for the record, in the book she has about a teaspoon's worth), and how she's hiding something. But still, Bond is certain he will seduce her, which will add the "tang of sweet rape."

WHAT?!

Those eyes say "oh, hell no."

NO, Bond. Just NO. I will send M over to smack the sense into you, you stupid perv.

"If you ever say something so disgusting again, I will have you killed."

So yes, seriously misogynistic. Women's rights were little-to-none when this was written, so it makes sense that it's reflected in this book. Although I don't think that's sufficient reasoning, since there are books from the 18th century that have stronger female characters than this... but I guess it was written from a man's point of view, not the standard chick lit perspective I'm used to... I mean, if you like 50 Shades of Grey, you may be into that kind of thing anyway... but even then, I think you'd get annoyed reading about how Bond is certain that women have no business in...well, business, and belong in the kitchen... yup.

Otherwise, as a spy book, it's pretty damn good. The movie apparently followed the story pretty closely, so there aren't many surprises if you've already seen the movie. It still was written in such a cool way that I found it suspenseful even knowing vaguely what was about to happen. Obviously there are some changes, it wouldn't make sense for the movie to feature Le Chiffre as a part of the Soviet Union, since it doesn't exist anymore. So honestly, all the work they did in the movie to give Le Chiffre motive to gamble such large sums is actually more straightforward in the book. And who knew that reading about a poker game could be so exciting? I really started to get into it, and whatever the hell Baccarat is, it's way cooler than it's comparable Twenty-One.

Also, the book is crazy graphic. I don't really know what I was expecting, I guess. But damn. I can only guess Ian Fleming saw some serious shit, the way he writes about some action scenes. Whew. It was hardcore. This is no casual romp into the espionage of the 50s/60s. I didn't grow up watching Sean Connery as James Bond, but honestly I couldn't see him as Bond in this story anyway.

Do what to my balls???

After re-watching the movie, Daniel Craig does an amazing job portraying the intensity of Bond (and the cinematography is shear brilliance. I wish they were all shot in the gritty way Casino Royale was). And Eva Green's Vesper Lynd has been an inspiration since the movie released. Good gravy is she badass. She's gorgeous, AND gives Bond a run for his money (haha, literally too). She can hold her own against Bond, and I just think that's fantastic. Way cooler in the movie than the book, this time. And probably my favorite Bond girl.

So overall, I'd say four out of five stars. If Vesper Lynd was even half as strong as her character is in the movie, I would give it that fifth star... dammit. I guess the next one is Live and Let Die. And I do intend to watch the movie after reading it, so we'll see how that goes...

Until next time!

No-Go-Wrimo

Wow. It's like this blog just won't die... one year, I'm going to update this thing enough so that I don't have to have these reunion-type posts. One day...
But probably not.

Anyway. This year has been a wreck. There has been a lot of good stuff scattered throughout the whole thing, but overall, I'm not a fan. I'm already looking at like food stuff that's labeled "Best by: 12/15" and going "oh, that's expired..." because I'm just so damn over it. Needless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, this poor blog has been woefully neglected since... January...

And now it's November. Oops.

Normally November is the worst month for this sort of thing, because it's usually Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month, yay!). But I'm at least 10,000 words behind already. I haven't written since day four, I think. I had the best story started and it was super funny and witty and awesome, and the Hubby considered it akin to like Douglas Adams (the BEST compliment ever!) and it was great!
And then I went out of town for a weekend, and then another week, and now here I am throwing words at this thing while neglecting my actual word count. Boo.
It doesn't help that a big hurdle I had yet to overcome was figuring out the damn plot. I pretty much had like a weird episode of Seinfeld going, where nothing really was happening but it was kind damn fun anyway? I set the bar too high, I suppose...

Anyway. I'm out.

But I'm also back!

Books are probably more important to me now than ever. My Goodreads "currently-reading" list is a whopping 10 books long right now. A new record, I think. Granted, some of them I semi-abandoned, but there is still hope for them, if there is still hope for me... I'm still 2 books behind on my goal of 40 books for the year, so I guess between reading and writing, I'm some how failing at both still. Technically. That's cool...

I've been all of the place too in my quest for awesome books. I've tried re-reading Harry Potter (good gravy, still. I have not finished the series yet. It is killing me. I love the books, I swear. But sometimes, I just can't...) And while I won't attempt to retroactively review everything I've already read from months ago, let's go with a..

Top 5 Books I've Already Read This Year and Should've Reviewed But Didn't:

1. The Martian -- are you surprised? If you are, that just means you didn't read it. Dummy.
2. Hondo -- I dabbled with Westerns during what can probably be described as mild depression. I wasn't just reading Hondo, I was Hondo. Out in the wilderness just doing the best I can to survive... it's good. Dated (and not just historically) but good. 

   

   Me, circa April 2015.

3. Why Can't I Be You -- an interesting chick lit built on mistaken identity. It was unique and endearing. I dig it.
4. The Girl With All the Gifts -- oooh, soooo goood. This should be #2, really. I don't want to talk about it. I just want you to read it.
5. The Just City -- disclaimer, I didn't like it. But it gets an honorable mention, because it's so unique. If you've read Plato's Republic, I'd be curious as to your thoughts. Well, even if you hadn't I want to know what you think. Because it's just so weird.

Also, I'm back into comics, the money-drain obsession that I had (apparently, only temporarily) abandoned. Yikes. And according to my reading list from this past year, this was the year of comics and graphic novels... So many! ...so, how fitting for a:

Top 5 Graphic Novels that I've Already Read This Year and Should've Reviewed But Didn't!

1. RAT QUEENS -- no, it's not supposed to be in all caps. That's just my enthusiasm showing! I effin' LOVE Rat Queens. They are snarky, mean, drunk, drugged, sexed, crazy, badass chickas that are rockin' out to some lovely fantasy tropes. It's like, I dunno... if a roller derby team played out a game of Dungeons & Dragons, you get Rat Queens. I adore it! 
   
2. Persepolis -- WOW. This one was so good. So eye-opening. Basically, and not to get too political here, but it shows how Iran changed so quickly and so much. I found it especially interesting that the people who speak out the most about how dangerous Iran is, are the people who most match the way Persepolis characterizes their government -- fundamentalism is the same no matter which side of the Atlantic you are on... just something to cook on... 
   
3. The Wicked + The Divine -- oooh, this is not like any graphic novel I've read lately. It's intense and confusing, and beautiful. I just really enjoy it. So much that I bought the t-shirt and walked around Disney Springs feeling like a rock star... 
   
4. The Cartoon Introduction to Philosophy -- this is just so darn cute and neat. It really explains stuff in detail without getting complicated. It's just fun! If you have been on the fence or curious about some of the big ideas, this is a great place to start. I thought it was so nifty I bought a second copy and sent it to my former undergrad professor. 
5. The New Teen Titans Vol. 1 (Wolfman & Perez) -- I started watching Teen Titans Go! this year, and honestly it's so bizarre and funny and awesome (I love Beast Boy.... he is my "spirit animal" haha). So I figured it's about time to get into the comics and actually learn something. It's so neat! I enjoy seeing the early forms of all my current favorite characters, and see how their personalities have stayed fairly the same since the 80s. Just fun!

This is from an episode of Teen Titans Go! where they revert to their Perez days. LOL

So that's it for now. I'll be back with more legit reviews and story times soon... and hopefully not this time next year!

Iron Kissed (Mercy Thompson #3)

Is that not the worst book cover ever??

So I'm not really sure what I want to say about this book (and series), since I frankly am not sure I want to admit that I've read it in the first place. I mean, look at that cover?! Why isn't she wearing a longer shirt, why is she posed like that? Like a weird twerking squat? I don't understand!!!

I wish I could say "don't judge this book by it's cover!" But I can't say that, because it's pretty much what you see is what you get. Cheesy paranormal mysteries - think Twilight, but without a shallow main character. Mercy is actually pretty badass. Only this time, she added a surprise at the ending. I won't tell you what it is, because spoilers, but it pretty much had me pissed off and although I bought the next book in the series, I'm pretty sure I won't be reading it. I just can't get over how unrealistic it was, and this is a book about werewolves, dammit! That I could handle, but the ending was just so bullshit. I'm all about a strong main character, but I think it's badly done to have your character experience something so horrendous that unfortunately many people can relate to, and rather than have them be an example of how to cope, she - relatively quickly - shrugs it off as if it was nothing. And it just didn't fit the mood of these books anyway - she jumps from plucky paranormal mystery to lifetime movie network drama in only a few chapters. What. the. hell.

So, without giving anything away, I hope, I didn't care for it.

On to the next!

(I'm trying to catch up, as it was an busy year end and beginning.)

Speaker for the Dead

I have no made reviewing books an easy task. The Hobbit. Now this? Good grief.

Whew. 

If you have not read Ender's Game, then just do that first...and right now... It's insanely good. Orson Scott Card is a superb writer, too smart for us, that's for certain. I adore Ender Wiggins. He may be my favorite literary character ever. So start with Ender's Game...

Done? Okay, now for the sequel - Speaker for the Dead.

This is one of those books that I think you have to have a specific mindset or attitude when you approach. When I tried reading it immediately after Ender's Game, I didn't get very far. The tone and story is so different I found it difficult to continue. This book requires patience.

A few years later I was desperate to read some science fiction, and too cheap to buy a new book, so I figured why not try again? I think it was the right time, as I've changed quite a bit in those years, so this time I was so glad I found this book.

I feel like this is the science fiction equivalent to those literary novels with gravitas - like The Alchemist or something (love that one, by the way). I've heard it described as much more "meta" than Ender's Game, but otherwise not really talked about at all. I suppose "meta" is accurate, but rather vague, so let me do my best to further describe this book. First, it is philosophical, sure. But in a satisfying way. Card seems to challenge us as individuals, communities, and humanity as a whole. It's like a thought experiment, but entertaining, and inspiring. I felt the same way reading this book as I did reading the works and convictions of practical ethicists like Peter Singer or Lisa H. Newton - reminded of my moral obligations and inspired to act on them. I read this and felt absolutely inspired to be a better person, and to see myself as a better person.

I'm a religious person, a Christian. And I really enjoyed Card's take on human religion outside of Earth. That part was especially intriguing. It was a critique for balance and perspective, grace and humanity - as in benevolence - especially in practice toward non-humans. I found this side of the story especially encouraging, and faith building. I realize Card and I may not agree on specific religious tenants, but faith is faith. If you are not religious, I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on his presentation. but I did not find it preachy at all.

I feel like this is a book that everyone should read, like a required text for students. It's much more important than say - Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre, which I had to read in high school...it's even one part love story, like those books, but it is so much more...

“No human being, when you understand his desires, is worthless. No one's life is nothing. Even the most evil of men and women, if you understand their hearts, had some generous act that redeems them, at least a little, from their sins.” 

The Hobbit

Well, I have successfully managed to put off this review for a while. It's not from dread, but anxiety - what can I possibly say about one of the Greats? This definitely cannot stand as a book critique, since I don't feel at all qualified to remark about the pros and cons of one of the greatest writers ever. You don't have to agree-- but I'm not wrong! ;)

I think the best part about reading the Hobbit is how I've changed reading the Hobbit. I don't mean some sort of literal growth and maturity. Boo. I'm still as weird and immature since the first time I read this book in middle school. But perhaps "literary maturity" is a better term for it...

In middle school, I thought this book was amusing, but mostly a required intro to the world of Lord of the Rings. The movies had just started coming out, and I was so excited after seeing the Fellowship movie that on a friend's advice I started reading the Hobbit. (I will now claim this was the moment that determined we would become BFFs 4 Life! (middle school remember?!) and we are as nerdy now as we were then). But really, if I was being honest, I didn't care for it a ton. It was kind of slow, and oddly technical, and I remember the part where they are in Mirkwood lasting EONS. I would have swore it was half the book.

I was so dumb.

I've been on a kick to revisit my old favorites, and since that includes Lord of the Rings, once again I started with the Hobbit. This time it was kind of hilarious, but in a sneaky surprising humor, that I did not understand or appreciate in my youth. Dry wit, I guess.

And excitement! I can't believe I found this book boring in the past. There is so much that happens, and none of it takes too long, unless you stubbornly refuse to keep reading. It does seem after a while that the structure is repetitive - the dwarves get in trouble, it seems hopeless, until Bilbo uses the ring and saves the day. But it's still a lot of fun anyway.

But I think my favorite part of the book was the writing style, which I was much more sensitive to this time around, especially reading it during Nanowrimo - when I failed to successfully complete the target words in my own fantasy novel. But really, The Hobbit has so much voice. Honestly, my favorite character was the narrator. It was so spot on, and clever, and I loved that he spoke to the reader directly. He's a story teller! It was brilliant. I could never come close to recreating that, and wouldn't even dare to try, but it was so wonderful. The true brilliance of this story, I think.

Anyway. That's my initial thoughts. I don't want to dig deep on it, this is a book review not The Hobbit and Philosophy. But it's great. No, Great. Capital G.

I can't wait to read it again in another decade!

P.S. - On the movies... well. They are crap. They are entertaining, and some of it stays true to the *spirit* of the book, but it messes with the story for the sake of an action sequence and CGI for no real benefit. But it doesn't need to be three movies, it didn't need to be done so special effects heavy, and that's what I have to say about that!

Cinder(ella!)

So general news - I'm pretty close to finishing a couple books in the next week, so look for more reviews soon! But Nanowrimo is in full swing, and I've managed to keep on track every day, so it's taking me a bit longer than usual. The upside is that Nanowrimo is in full swing and I've managed to keep on track every day! LOL But really, Poehler was write  right - writing IS hard. But when you plan a little and take risks a lot, and just keep going, it's kind of a blast! Seriously, if you are ever in a rut on finding a book to read because they aren't quite what you are looking for, maybe it's a sign that you need to create it instead. I think some famous Literature writer person said something to that affect as well, but I don't remember who or what they said exactly.

In other news!

Cinderella, guys!

Okay, so little known fact. I grew up with a collection of Cinderella stories. I inherited it, but was extremely proud of it (even though I was admittedly more of a Sleeping Beauty fan when I was younger. But whatevs. I've learned the err of my ways. Cute songs but creepy premise. Haha.) I still have all the books, and some are super old, so I should probably take pics and share them so you can all admire these things... anyway, if you've been on the internets and have girly friends, you probably know that there is a live-action Disney Cinderella coming out (eventually?)! Here's the trailer, or in this case since they assume you know the whole story anyway, I'm considering it a mini-movie:

They seriously hold nothing back. It's more of an "enjoy the ride, not the destination" story, I would guess... Regardless, I will likely be watching this one in theaters, because reasons. Although I haven't owned a copy of the Disney animated movie (the biggest weakness of my collection admittedly) since I was a little kid. True story.

If you are looking to enjoy some Cinderella goodness while waiting for the movie, there are so many versions (for the record, I did not give Ella Enchanted the time of day), I'm going to recommend Cinder. by Marissa Meyer.

It's an inventive, futuristic, slightly dystopian take on the classic tale, so pretty much a YA-reader's dream come true. (Bibbity-bobbity-boo!) I did enjoy it a lot, but it is a series, as much of YA is anymore, but alas I have not attempted the rest of the books yet. I think it goes Little Red Riding Hood and then Rapunzel, for what it's worth.

P.S.- I just realized it's a red glass slipper on her foot in the cover. Can I just say that is sooo wrong! It's not Wizard of Oz, geez!

A Long Way Down

I really want to give it 5 stars, but I just can't. I don't think I would introduce this book to anyone as "it's amazing!" but I would absolutely, without-pause present it as "it's really good." (All my reviews originate on Goodreads, by the way...if a little context helps.)

I don't know how it would feel to read this as a seriously depressed person who has thought about killing themselves. But as a person in a state of flux that sometimes feels pretty miserable about themselves, I enjoyed the company. And it made me laugh. And I really wanted to see the movie. So that's something. It's borderline literature with a capital-L. It get's pretty deep, but a book about suicide is likely go there. But it was all pretty believable. And I loved the different perspectives. These four characters are so different, and you wonder if they really would experience it all together in the way that they do, and I was kind of skeptical but I believed it anyway. It just worked. It was messy, but "der" that's life (now who is getting too deep?).

Anyway, if don't know anything about this book - it's about four people that end up on the roof of a building to jump off, and convince each other not too (obviously, or it would have been a very short novel). And it's just about how to keep going once you've so committed to making the decision to jump, and then changing your mind to not. What do you do? Anyway. This is just about what these four did. And it was really interesting. Like, make me want to study psychology if this is what it's about...

SO yeah, I'd say it was really good.

Yes Please

I was really torn about whether this book belonged on my "humor" shelf, if that tells you anything. It's not that it isn't funny, because at times it did make me laugh out loud. But that just wasn't the point, and for someone who is quite famous for being hilarious, it was slightly surprising. Another surprise is that the large part of my adoration for Amy Poehler isn't just her brilliance in Parks & Recreation, but because of her role model qualities for young people across the internet via Smart Girls at the Party. But it wasn't really about that either (definitely not written for all ages, by the way). Sure, there were some tidbits of wisdom and advice in the pages, but that also wasn't the point.

The point is, it's a memoir of someone wise and hilarious that is neither incredibly insightful or all that humorous. It's mostly her talking about her life to date. Which I guess is the point of a memoir anyway. And it was engaging, I certainly read it rather quickly - consuming it in hours reading one-third at a time. But it wasn't that well written. As she repeats throughout, writing is hard (preach it, sister!) but you can really tell because the organization was hard to follow. Maybe I was disadvantaged by reading it in e-book format. The hardcover is supposedly quite colorful, and according to Orson Scott Card the audiobook version is required and delightful. So maybe I will go that route next time, because I guess ultimately that was the real problem- I don't have Amy Poehler's voice in my head. I heard it in my voice, and that context it just didn't make sense to me (unlike Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? which confirmed that she is in fact my soul sister.) And since maybe I don't have very much experience with memoirs, maybe I just didn't know what to expect.

To put it as precisely as I can - she still rocks, and it was still interesting for the most part. I would totally hang a poster of the cover in my office at work, and will keep watching Parks & Rec and my copy of Baby Mama, and laugh with joy at her work. But I don't know that I would read this again.

Gone Girl *spoilers*

** spoiler alert ** 
So, I got 60-some percent through the book and was like, "good gravy this is Tom Sawyer retold, still in Hannibal, Missouri. Well done, Flynn." And then Nick says the same thing not but a couple pages later. Darn. I thought I had some original revelation about this book. Not even a bit.

But really, could Missouri be the setting for a book that doesn't have someone fake their death and/or is filled with incredibly offensive stereotypes and profanity? (lookin' at you Huck.) Thanks guys. And I admit, I'm slightly bitter that Flynn can speak so horrendously of the state of Missouri. I blame Chicago as a terrible influence. A mere footnote in her acknowledgements reveals that she doesn't in fact loathe the state or the people; she agrees with Nick. Who knew? I certainly could not tell.

Anyway. I hated this book. But it was admittedly very well written. Even if I hated it. Amy and Nick both had such clear voice that certainly kept the momentum and intrigue up. But it was awful. It was *too* clever. I almost can't believe they were as smart as they were supposed to be. But what do I know? I don't read crime, true or otherwise. There could absolutely be crazy people out there. I guess I believe in crazy, I've just never read from the POV of crazy. That's what was so unsettling. I hate Amy. I'm glad Nick didn't try to kill her in the end, but if I had been him I'm not sure I would have been so introspective and had clarity to let go at the last minute. Just sayin'.

I think, lastly, what I resent about this genre - thrillers and plot twists and unreliable narrators (and not the good kind like The Things They Carried) is it's not surprising, not really. It's manipulative. I obviously don't speak to her character as a person, but Flynn's *tricks* as a writer are to an audience what Amy was to Nick. And it pisses me off a bit. Of course it's a twist and she's still alive. You've given me literally no evidence that that was the case. No body, not dead. Period. In any book or story ever, I'm almost convinced. Anyway, same with the ending. It's "oh no, what happens the rest of their lives?" because she decided it to be that way. It's entertainment, I get it. But meh, not my cup of tea.

But damn it was well-written, even if the whole thing was ridiculous. I'm surprised it doesn't take place in the fall. Then it could be the annual literary "It's the Great Pumpkin Something-or-Other, Charlie Brown."

Also, I just saw the movie on Sunday. It was strikingly similar to the book; having it read it so fresh I could tell which parts were left out but the edits made logical sense. I had forgotten it was a David Fincher film (also Trent Reznor). So, when I saw that on the intro credits I became a bit on edge. This man's work is intense. Ultimately, I've decided it was a good fit, because like the book, the movie has great talent on a ridiculous plot. Still a messed up story, but damn Fincher is good. And Reznor is obviously intense as well. What struck me as odd, and perhaps says more about me, is that in the pivotal seen toward the end with Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris, yes I know his real name)... THIS IS WHERE THERE ARE SOME SERIOUS SPOILERS...

DO NOT KEEP GOING IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT AND WANT TO BE SURPRISED.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

So, anyway, Amy (aka blonde that no one remembers from Pride & Prejudice) is seducing Barney Stinson (weirdo guy in the book who I legitimately don't remember his name)...and it's... uncomfortable. I'm not a prude (yes, yes I am) but I don't want to see Barney's ass. Ever. Anyway, they are going at it, and uh, he gets to his vinegar strokes (any fans of the League out there? haha, oh dear.) ANYWAY. She slits his throat. And I know it's going to happen since they've followed the book so darn close. And it's that scene. And I hide. But something compels me to look, maybe it's over? And it's so not. He is gushing blood. They are wrestling kind-of and rolling around in it, Fincher keeps changing the camera angle, it's just so INTENSE.

And I laugh. 

Seriously. I never laugh at stuff like this. I don't do scary movies, I hate gore, and blood, and yuck! But I think this just shows how over-the-top everything was. GREAT PRODUCTION VALUE. But totally ridiculous. So I giggled.

I hated it.

NANOWRIMO!

It has begun!! And thank goodness it's a Saturday - checking in at 2,097 words. YAY! Totally taking a short break. But I'm already well aware of the panic in my chest every time I try to spend my time doing something besides writing (or writing something that doesn't count toward my word goal...)

But. YAY!

Join the fun?!

Ch-ch-changes!

So it's Halloween! (No I didn't dress up as Bowie...)

I once sent this picture to a coworker. Best thing I've ever done at work.

Anywho, I finally finished Gone Girl and am going to see the movie this weekend! So I was perusing my Kindle library wondering what book to add to my currently overwhelming pile of reads. I'm trying not to overlap genres too much so I can keep it all straight, so I decided to revisit the ol' blog and chain to see what I had been reading as if that will help me unlock the secret of where to go next.

It didn't help.

But I think I'm due for an update anyway.

1. Big changes going on in the life stuffs that may make updating and writing and things more awesome. I can't talk about it yet but just now I will be super hardcore celebrating if I get the ok to go forward with THE PLAN. (dun dun dun!)

2. It's almost Nanowrimo time! Just counting down the hours! If you are on the fence, I suggest you jump in. It's not too late! It's never too late! I had outlined a whole fantasy tale over September, but now on the eve of Nanowrimo I'm contemplating changing it up to a contemporary YA comedy-ish. I hope waiting til the last minute to decide provides some clarity or I may be the only person dumb enough to try to write two novels in November. I'm so dumb.

3. GAH. The video games are trying to take mah money! So far Civ's Beyond Earth has released -- moly cow, so good! I got so engrossed in the politics of colonizing that Husband suggested I read Speaker for the Dead again. I tried once and got stuck very early on, but this time I plowed on and am enjoying the crap out of that book! SOOO GOOD. Anyway, video games. On the fence about the new Call of Duty. But we all know I will likely break down and buy it. It's just a matter of timing. Also, WoW's update comes out super soon. So that's going to rip away the rest of my free time. And lastly Super Smash Bros for Wii U kicks off end of November. As if I didn't have enough going on already!

Here's the latest and greatest list of books I'm current reading--

• The Hobbit - still. Ugh. It's soo good, but I can't stick with it for very long in one sitting. Not sure why.
• Harry Potter and the something after Goblet of Fire - I finally started actually reading it, and it's pretty good. I'm very nervous about being reunited with whiney-shithead Harry that shows up in this book. His tantrums drive me nuts.
• Sense and Sensibility - I've made crazy progress on this one lately! I'm almost done, but you wouldn't know it. I bought a collection to read so the percent read never changes. Super disheartening. 
• Iron Kissed - have I talked about this series before? I adore it. It's totally cheese, but it's smart and sharp so like Romano. 
• Speaker for the Dead - totally different from Ender's Game, but there may be nothing better than Orson Scott Card's understanding/conceptualizing of space and ethics.

Moly cow, is that it? No wonder I'm in the market for another book...

Which leads me to my last point -- 

I think I'm going to change this blog's format AGAIN. I don't want to clog blogger with half-a-dozen different blogs about all the things I like to talk about...and I do like to talk. But I'm thinking about changing this into a book review blog. I know, the kiss of death for blogging. EVERYONE has a book review blog. And I don't read any of them. So why would you read mine? Well. Because like everyone I have a unique perspective (LOLZ), and for the love of goodness that won't be the only thing I talk about. But you have to admit it would be an easy transition. Half of what I write about now is what I'm reading. And the stuff I watch on TV, which often is based on a book. Good gravy.

So anyway. I will probably be AWOL for most of November, but expect me to shake things up a bit when I return!

Random Musings After Far Too Much Time In My Hotel Room

So, I'm just hanging out in Dallas this week. And by hanging out I mean working.
The timing has been fantastic, what with the whole ebola thing. Good gravy.

It feels like zombies. I'm pretty sure someone on reddit called the poor guy that died "patient zero," which seems pretty appropriate. But the media, to be fair, makes it sound like it would be as easy to tell if someone was carrying the ebola virus as it would be to tell someone's a zombie. Flu-like symptoms? Maybe? Don't touch any of their fluids. Okay! Wasn't gonna anyway! ...But now they are all talking about how another person may have it, a cop or something? And it's like, dude! did you not see the signs? It's like the beginning of Zombieland. Anyway. It's super creepy. And I hope it gets resolved soon. A cure would be ideal obviously, but I hope too that the medical professionals here and abroad will be able to stop the spread and save lives! ...Meanwhile, all this talk about closing the borders (which frankly sounds unsympathetic as a country quite content with dumping ice on our heads to help people a mere month ago, even when that act didn't actually do anything...) and I just hope that I get home tomorrow without there being any issues. But last night, you should have heard me freaking out in my hotel room. I'm always less sensible and much more paranoid at night, and I was losing it while talking to the Husband. I wasn't sure the glass of water they brought with my room service last night was safe (I drank it anyway, because, you know - hydration...but whatever). And I'm fairly certain there is a police or fire station nearby, because there are sirens constantly.

So that's been a gem, and I'm super excited to go home tomorrow.

In other news, I'm reading like six books right now. And I'm much more aware of that fact now since my routine includes waking up super early, working, and going back to my room for dinner and reading. I don't know why I can't ever focus on one at a time. I know it bothers people when I tell them I read multiple books at a time. It's not like I'm doing it simultaneously - like numerous versions of kindles surrounding me and I just read a sentence at a time from each (although I've done that before when I'm incredibly tired in-flight, since I can't sleep on planes). It's like watching a bunch of TV shows. You can totally remember the stories from each without getting confused, so it's not really that different.

Anywho, if you were wondering what I'm reading (who knows?) here you go:

1. The Hobbit - not a surprise after my last update.
2. Harry Potter and the something or other book that follows Goblet of Fire -- okay, haven't technically started it, but I'm mid-series. So it's always in my face like "read me, dammit!"
3. Sense and Sensibility - earlier this year I swore I'd read through all of Jane Austen's books because she's amazing. But I got stuck on this one - the first one - and it's not going very well.
4. Honor's Knight - remember that one book, uh, Fool's Pawn? That turned out to be flippin' fantastic. So I'm on the second one, and it's definitely my go-to book right now. Freakin' awesome. (haha, it's actually Fortune's Pawn. But I have terrible memory. Reading retention is not my thing apparently.)
5. Gone Girl - book club! my friend and I started a movie based book club, and this was our first pick (despite starting in like June...and we just agreed on it two weeks ago.) I got half-way through and stopped but I'm also out of town for most of the month so it'll be a while before I can even go see the movie. I've got time!

Okay so five books! That's not too bad, right??

(p.s. - I just picked up a copy of Rainbow Rowell's latest - Landline, and The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson is free on amazon right now. So hopefully it will be seven books very soon! Wheee!!!)

Fool of a Took!

Let me just declare once and for all that my favorite series ever is Lord of the Rings. Star Wars may have an excellent story line (and Han Solo is the most badass ever!) but the characters and worlds of LOTR are so intricate and wonderful, and I love it.

It's funny to because once your branded as enjoying Star Wars, it's just assumed by all that it's your all-time favorite. I get so many meme's and shirts and videos sent to me because it's Star Wars. And it's great. But I don't think anyone has ever sent me something about Lord of the Rings. Maybe it's easier to hide LOTR fan-ness.

I'm watching Fellowship of the Rings tonight and it's the best. (Okay, Two Towers is really the best, but just to be watching Lord of the Rings is awesome). I watched Desolation of Smaug last night on DVD and I must say it's a heck of a lot better than the 1st Hobbit movie. It was quite enjoyable. But I wish Peter Jackson would watch his LOTR series so he could be reminded that a good movie doesn't require over-the-top effects. This is a beautiful movie, where the effects enhance what's going on, they don't try to compete with it. (I mean, applying CGI to Legolas in the Hobbit is inexcusable. He's flippin' gorgeous. What are you doing?!?!)

Anywho. This is awesome. And I'm so ready to be done with the Harry Potter series, so I can move on to the really really really really good stuff.

Harry Potter and the Time My Dog Escaped Azka-van

True story.

So when I was a youngin', my family took an epic camping trip. Not as epic as the camping trip that makes up most of the last book, but it was pretty darn exciting. I don't remember much of it. Well bits and pieces, but certainly the most vivid memory of this trip was reading the latest Harry Potter book at the time. Since it was summer, it had just released before we hit the road, and if I remember correctly my brother and I had to share a copy. It doesn't matter who was reading it really, just what happened one day...

My parents like wine. Who doesn't though? As an adult now, I can attest that I also am a fan. However, we were young kids who did not part-take for obvious reasons, and when my parents chose to visit a winery near the campground we agreed to tag along anyway because we definitely weren't going to be left behind at the camp by ourselves. Anywho, my parents are inside the winery and the weather being nice my brother, our dog, and I stay in the van. The dog, the legendary Fudge-- a chocolate cocker spaniel that could not have been any more high maintenance even without having the crazy long hair-- suffered from separation anxiety. He wanted to find our parents, while we were quite content to just read. Well, the windows had been rolled down in the van, because my parents are not cruel, and Fudge takes it upon himself to escape by jumping through said window.

My brother and I both quickly get out of the van and start to try to corral poor Fudge and get him back inside. But before we can, two big bulky lab-sized dogs show up, and start chasing Fudge around the van, who for the record does not enjoy other dogs at all. And at this point I sympathize with him and am convinced these bigger dogs want to eat him. I run like the wind and grab Fudge, while yelling at my brother to get in the van. I swing open the door with one hand, Fudge flailing about in my arms, and make a dash for safety. But I bang my head against the top of the door frame and fall back letting go of Fudge. He doesn't get very far, and I pick him up and manage to get inside. (Meanwhile, I later learn that on the other side of the van in what I thought was surely danger, my brother is petting one of the lab-like dogs, who had been barking "play!" not "kill!". Silly me...)

Fudge and I are safe. My brother gets in the car sure enough, and in the chaos and fear that my poor dog had experienced he just starts to take a dump...on our brand new hard cover copy of Harry Potter (and probably the Goblet of Fire. The green one?)  SO gross. And so upsetting as a young kid who prizes books above all else. And one shitty present for saving the day. (Heh, puns.)

Thank goodness for dust jackets, amiright???